Q: Don't I need a guide to see God ?

Maharshi:

Who was your guide to see Ramana Bhagavan ?
With whose guidance do you see the world every day ?
Just as you are able to see the world yourself,
so you you will also be able to see your Self
if you make a sincere attempt. It will be your Self alone
that will guide you in that quest as well.

Robinson Jeffers - The Purse-Seine

Our sardine fishermen work at night in the dark
      of the moon; daylight or moonlight
They could not tell where to spread the net,
       unable to see the phosphorescence of the
       shoals of fish.
They work northward from Monterey, coasting
       Santa Cruz; off New Year's Point or off
       Pigeon Point
The look-out man will see some lakes of milk-color
       light on the sea's night-purple; he points,
       and the helmsman
Turns the dark prow, the motorboat circles the
       gleaming shoal and drifts out her seine-net.
       They close the circle
And purse the bottom of the net, then with great
       labor haul it in.

                                     I cannot tell you
How beautiful the scene is, and a little terrible,
       then, when the crowded fish
Know they are caught, and wildly beat from one wall
       to the other of their closing destiny the
       phosphorescent
Water to a pool of flame, each beautiful slender body
       sheeted with flame, like a live rocket
A comet's tail wake of clear yellow flame; while outside
       the narrowing
Floats and cordage of the net great sea-lions come up
       to watch, sighing in the dark; the vast walls
       of night
Stand erect to the stars.

                               Lately I was looking from a night mountain-top
On a wide city, the colored splendor, galaxies of light:
       how could I help but recall the seine-net
Gathering the luminous fish? I cannot tell you how
       beautiful the city appeared, and a little terrible.
I thought, We have geared the machines and locked all together
       into inter-dependence; we have built the great cities; now
There is no escape. We have gathered vast populations incapable
       of free survival, insulated
From the strong earth, each person in himself helpless, on all
       dependent. The circle is closed, and the net
Is being hauled in. They hardly feel the cords drawing, yet
       they shine already. The inevitable mass-disasters
Will not come in our time nor in our children's, but we
       and our children
Must watch the net draw narrower, government take all
       powers--or revolution, and the new government
Take more than all, add to kept bodies kept souls--or anarchy,
       the mass-disasters.
                                      These things are Progress;
Do you marvel our verse is troubled or frowning, while it keeps
       its reason? Or it lets go, lets the mood flow
In the manner of the recent young men into mere hysteria,
       splintered gleams, crackled laughter. But they are
       quite wrong.
There is no reason for amazement: surely one always knew
       that cultures decay, and life's end is death.

And now the sick man opened his eyes again and looked for a long while into his friend's face. He said farewell with his eyes. And with a sudden movement, as though he were trying to shake his head, he whispered:

"But how will you die when your time comes, Narcissus, since you have no mother? Without a mother, one cannot love. Without a mother, one cannot die."

What he murmurmed after that could not be understood. Those last two days Narcissus sat by his bed day and night, watching his life ebb away. Goldmund's last words burned like fire in his heart.

- Narcissus and Goldmund (Herman Hesse)

I repeat, tomorrow Thou shalt see that obedient flock who at a sign from me will hasten to heap up the hot cinders about the pile on which I shall burn Thee for coming to hinder us. For if anyone has ever deserved our fires, it is Thou. Tomorrow I shall burn Thou. I have spoken.

"When the Inquisitor ceased speaking he waited some time for his Prisoner to answer him. His silence weighed down upon him. He saw that the Prisoner had listened intently all the time, looking gently in his face and evidently not wishing to reply. The old man longed for him to say something, however bitter and terrible. But He suddenly approached the old man in silence and softly kissed him on his bloodless aged lips. That was all his answer. The old man shuddered. His lips moved. He went to the door, opened it, and said to Him: 'Go, and come no more... come not at all, never, never!' And he let Him out into the dark alleys of the town. The Prisoner went away."

"And the old man?"

"The kiss glows in his heart, but the old man adheres to his idea."

- Grand Inquisitor, F. Dostoyevsky

Gold dust is precious, but in the eye it blinds.

Real spiritual growth begins with an act of betrayal.
You drop the assumptions that govern the world around you.
Watching the world collapse, you see beauty where others see only a gaping hole.
To the rest of the world, this is a betrayal of the highest order.

When one is pretending, the entire body revolts.
- Anais Nin

I read a thousand books;
memorized algorithms, names
and concepts; traveled through all knowledge centres;
asked all wise men. Now I only have one question left
to answer: What was it all useful for?

I think every spiritual teacher should take a month out of every year to travel alone and incognito. He should interact with many people in many situations where a guru has no standing, no identity and no authority. That would be an excellent reality check and retreat.

The attacks I "learned" in Yoshinkan:

- the wrist grab with no follow-up
- the lapel grab with retarded hand position and no follow-up
- the "shotokan white belt" step-through punch
- the "what the fuck is that for" shomen uchi blade hand to the forehead
- the "looks like a haymaker, but doesn't work" yokumen uchi blade hand to the temple.
- the rear wrist-grab with no follow-up

Should I go on?

Mits

What brought everything together for me was the Brazilian Jujitsu of the Gracie family. A policeman who was one of my students told me about a new form of Jujitsu that focused on ground grappling, and my ears perked up. When I went to look at the art, Rorion Grace (who later became my teacher) introduced me to his father, Master Helio Gracie, who was then 75 years old. "Mits, this is my dad," Rorion said. "He says that he wants to wrestle you." Knowing that Helio only spoke Portuguese, I said to Rorion, "I'm stronger than he is, and I'm in great shape. Your father looks old to me." To my surprise, Rorion translated what I had said for his father - and then he translated the reply for me: "My dad says that now he really wants to wrestle you - and, if you go easy with him, he's going to hurt you." I thought, "Oh, my goodness!"

When we grappled, it was no contest. I attacked this man, who was 75 years old and weighed about 130 pounds, with everything I had, but there was nothing I could do to him! He would neutralize my attacks without breaking a sweat. He would hold me down, laugh, and talk to his son while I was struggling. If I did manage get out of a hold, he would put me in another. For 30 minutes, I was humiliated.

That convinced me that there was something to Brazilian Jujitsu. Until that moment, I thought a martial artist had to be big, strong, and quick. I thought that all the stories about 90-year-old masters defeating 20-year-old football players were just fables. But on the ground Helio Gracie would neutralize my movements without using strength - just as, in the stories, Ueshiba Sensei would neutralize his attackers' movements from a standing position. Brazilian Jujitsu, I came to see, is Aikido on the ground.

It is perilous to make a chasm in human affections; not that they gape so long and wide--but so quickly close again!

-Nathaniel Hawthorne (from 'Wakefield')

How bad could it be to let the universe just wash over you?

-John Kaminski